My week at home for Thanksgiving was so good and wonderful. I had a wonderful time with Jesse's family--it was great just getting to know them more. It's hard to spend time with them because I am so far away. My parents were great and it was just good to have opportunities to care for them and serve them. (God reminded me that I should serve them selflessly... we were saved by God's grace and we should serve others with grace as well.)
God used this week to remind, teach, and show me many things. I was reminded that I live in a very worldly, materialistic, and sinful world (exhibit A: Black Friday). God taught me that I need to love people more and selflessly. He also showed me that He is sovereign over all things--all the good and bad times occur because He
allows it to occur for my good and sanctification.
My time at home was good for the most part, with the discouraging part coming towards the end of the stay. My family and I were talking about marriage and my siblings were questioning why I would want to get married so young and so unestablished. I can understand if they were worried about not having a stable financial situation, but that's not what they were concerned with. They wanted to know why I would want to get married next summer when I could have a more extravagent and bigger wedding the following summer. I admit that I was hurt, offended, angry, and frustrated all at the same time. I know that I cannot expect unbelievers to understand and know that marriage is about glorifying Christ--and the wedding (which really isn't that grand anyway because it's just one day) is supposed to glorify Him as well. Yet, even from people's perspective who do not know Christ, the wedding should be about the bride and groom. My siblings weren't concerned with whether or not I am ready for marriage, but about how the wedding's going to look! My time with both my family and Jesse's as well is that a wedding is an event for families to show off--it's all about pride. Pride in having the fanciest wedding, best dinner, etc. It made me really sad.
I think this was also the first time I struggled with balancing time with my family and boyfriend. When I was at UCLA, it didn't matter if I didn't see Jesse at all because I would see him at school anyway. But now, I didn't really know how to balance time with him and my family. God was still gracious to allow us to spend some time with each other. :-)
I do have so much to be thankful for. God has blessed me with a church, family, friends, and school. I have had an opportunity to be a part of two solid churches in Philadelphia and I have a church that I can go to when I am home in the Bay Area. My parents love me and my family cares--even if they show it in some ways that I don't necessarily agree with. Jesse has been wonderful to me and he has led us well in our relationship, by God's grace. God has given me friends who know me at Penn and also at home. My time at Penn has been such a blessing. I don't have anything to complain about.
Though waves of troubles come
And pour in like a flood
My soul will not despair
Within Your sovereign arms
No valley is too dark
To keep me from your care
Your presence and Your promises
Are joy and life to me
Jesus, You are my glorious hope
Ever faithful to Your own
You have filled my nights
With Your sweet song of grace
Jesus You are my glorious hope
My glorious hope
When condemnations rise
When failures fill my eyes
Remind me once again
That my sufficiency
Is found upon the tree
That bought my righteousness
The depth of Your unchanging love
Displayed on Calvary
Jesus, You are my glorious hope
Ever faithful to Your own
You have filled my nights
With Your sweet song of grace
Jesus You are my glorious hope
My glorious hope
And Jesus, every trial only proves
You are worthy of all the trust
I place in You.
My glorious hope
You’re my glorious hope
You’re my glorious hope.
Written by Steve and Vikki Cook